More or less I'm all or nothing and that's truly troubling. Because nothing worthwhile is ever as absolute as it seems. And if it appears to be, then tradition has found a way into your mind. It's difficult to perceive and yet so necessary if the depths of true observation and discovery are to be found. It's like trying to consciously remain completely in the now as each second in this present realm becomes the past by the next. It's continual progression without movement.. it's a race in slow motion.. it's the repetition of novelty. It's a silent scream of conversation with the self. To reminisce is egoism. To predict is arrogance. But to exist is enlightenment.
To be so completely self-aware in the moment and then having to reidentify with your emotions in the next. It's impossible.. yet so necessary.
But why does it seem that original thought begins with an obsession for distraction. Is it that those who truly are in existence are in agreement with each other. That some inexplicable spiritual connection binds one to another. Then what reason remains against conformity... it's a good thing that I consider social interactions intimidating.
All I know is that knowledge comes from forgetting all that I know.
What I mean is that I don't know.
You know what I mean?
